One Year

Wow. Life happened and I now realize it has been a hot minute since I have posted anything. We are officially ONE YEAR post accident. Life looks much different than it did before. There are times we catch ourselves talking about “old times” (pre-accident), during (the recovery process), and post accident. Our life will always be post accident. We have survived something that could have broken us. J survived an accident that, if we are being honest, he should have not survived. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason. I am still doing lots of soul searching as to why he had to endure such a traumatic accident. There are days that I find myself reminded of those early hospital days. The long drives to the hospital with a screaming newborn, pulling over at gas stations to nurse her back to sleep, and the gut-wrenching feeling of having to leave the hospital bed and go home. Now we have settled back into a routine of raising babies and trying to not lose our marbles when the toys get dumped right after cleaning. Jackson’s 3rd birthday will be here after summer and I am not ready to accept that. Josie is a romping stomping toddler and chases her brother everywhere. We watch Bluey on repeat and keep the freezer stocked with dinosaur nuggets. Did you know it was possible to taste the difference between a “dino nuggie” and a regular chicken nugget? Jackson can sniff out those differences and then the dogs conspire with him to get the rejects. In the Fall of 2022 I started working at a private day school. If you know me then you know how shocked I am as well. I NEVER would have pictured myself being in education, but here I am. Motherhood has changed me in more ways than one and it has opened my eyes that we need people who care in education. I started in the 3-4 year old classroom while their aide was out on maternity leave. I enjoyed being with those little ones. Each day was an adventure filled with laughter, exploring, so many questions, and watching their little brain grow. There were times of explosive emotions but thanks to my own little bottle rocket I was able to help them through their emotions. In January of this year I moved upstairs to the elementary grades and now I am the 5/6th math/science teacher’s assistant. I also am the lead teacher for the STEM program and see kindergarten through sixth grade throughout the week. STEM has been so fun and the kids love the activities I have picked throughout the year. One of the perks of seeing all the grades is getting to know all the students. I never knew it was possible to learn so many names and actually remember them! Hearing them yell “Mrs. Fritz” from the playground as I walk in each morning makes my day 100x better, especially on those rough drop off mornings. I am also working on getting my alternative certification to become a teacher. I found a program in Texas that allows those with bachelors degrees to take the certification test, turn in observation hours, and get the final sign off from administration and BOOM, you are a teacher! I am so excited for this journey and already have a whole Pinterest board for how my classroom will look. J’s recovery journey is not over yet but he is finally out of the “danger zone”. He underwent 10 surgeries, multiple admissions into the hospital, and endured months of painful physical therapy appointments. His determination and tenacity are what got him through everything. I had the opportunity to go to every PT appointment and watch him go from wheelchair bound to driving away from his final appointment was the most inspiring journey. He too had also had a career change. I think one of the hardest decisions he had to make during this journey was to leave EMS. The pain and soreness is constant and we both know that you have to be at your 100% while on duty. As a rough, gruff, and tough dad I think that was a hard hit. But, as a wife I now know he is home safe and sound. He has been helping our friends (who are also our neighbors) with property management for their multi-cabin bed and breakfast. The best thing in my opinion is he is home every day and gets to be dad. He is there to open the gate when the kids and I get home from school, he rolls up his sleeves and tackles the evening routine with two toddlers, and holds my hand when our youngest is attempting to have a contest of who can stay awake the longest. He was also able to join (along with my dad) a group called Irreverent Warriors. It’s a group for active and retired military members who hike to raise awareness for suicide. I’ve seen so many great things come from this organization and the friends that have been made. I still don’t understand why the accident happened and we may never know the “why”. Our lives will never go back to the way it was before but, I’m okay with that. This new life that we have built is solid. We stayed true to our vows of “for better, for worse… in sickness and in health”. We love harder, forgive faster, and cherish the life we have built together. I went back and read my “One Month” update before writing this and I wish I could go back in time and tell myself, everything will be okay. Those trenches were deep and lonely. If it wasn’t for our family and close friends I’m not sure how I would have managed. My sister flew down multiple times and rolled up her sleeves and helped with the kids and managing the house. My gym family asked daily how J was doing and how the kids were. They helped me find the humor in the “mom trenches” and hearing their stories helped me feel less alone. My parents were (and still are) a constant throughout the entire journey and we are so thankful. From cooking, cleaning, watching the kids, all the way to bringing their own dirt over to help with water diversion. I always joke that I’m going to have to set them up with a bougie retirement home after all they’ve done for us. Remember to kiss your spouse, tell your kids you love them, prune your dead leaves, and know that you WILL get through your hardest days.