Toddler Adventures

I have felt many emotions during my motherhood journey. The other day was the first time I have truly teared up for something that made my heart smile. If you know our journey then you know Jackson is in speech therapy and has a speech delay with receptive and expressive communication. This makes day to day life a little more challenging than “normal” (whatever that words means). We avoid places that require quiet kids, places that are not “Jackson proof”, and places that will make him feel uncomfortable. His communication to us is a mixture of words, sign language, and his own jargon (that includes what some would consider “whining”). We have learned to translate what he is communicating to us but it has taken time and lots of patience. A simple grocery run into HEB or Walmart can turn into a whole tantrum with minimal warning. I vividly remember one time standing in line for HEB’s pharmacy line and having to sit on the ground with Jackson as he was having a moment. The stares and glares from other customers were coming from all around as I calmly talked him through the situation. Honestly he was just voicing the frustration of having to wait in a long line. All of us adults probably felt like doing the same but it’s not socially acceptable for an adult to lay on the floor and cry because of a long line (we just do it internally). As Jackson’s mother I am hyper aware of his emotions and ready in an instant to defend his big emotions. While sitting on the grocery store floor I was waiting for the unsolicited advice from someone who probably told their own children, “I’ll give you a reason to cry”. Until you’ve been in this club you will not truly understand the intense emotions you feel as a parent. But, that’s a story for another day. Anyways, back to why I felt the need to start this post… my sister and her girlfriend came down for the holidays (yaaay!). They wanted to do something fun with the kids but our small town does not have many fun things to do with toddlers. We thought about the zoo or a museum but they are so far that the kids would melt before even getting there. I remembered a friend talking about a kid’s play place in a nearby city that was geared more towards younger children. I looked it up and we decided to give it a go. The next morning we set off on our adventure. We walked in the doors, took our shoes off, and within minutes Jackson was running to the nearest play area. I will never forget this moment. He turned and looked back at me with a huge smile and said byyyeeee with the cutest wave. Off he went! That kid played HARD for 2 hours without stopping. The place gave off Discovery Zone vibes but on a smaller scale, or am I just bigger so it seems smaller? Ellie, Ashley, and I took turns watching Jackson make his way through the levels of the play area while trying to coax Josie to do some of her own exploring. Josie spent most of her time in the giant ball pit living her best life saying “ready, set, go” and falling into the balls. There were multiple times where I found a sitting spot and just watched my son play. He was having the time of his life and didn’t have to be shhh’ed, told to be careful, or to stop running. I hated the fact that we had to eventually leave but us adults were exhausted and starving. I promised him that we would be back and I will uphold my promise. We had a successful lunch at Willie’s where the kids ate their WHOLE meal. We then braved one more stop at Target to get some last minute Christmas gifts. Jackson convinced the aunts that he needed a Wall-E toy that he proceeded to push the button on for the whole ride home. Seeing him get to be himself with no judgment was everything that my mama heart needed. That kid is going to do great things in life and I am so thankful that I get to be his mama. I am thankful that his grandparents and aunts have been right by our sides for this journey. Us adults work daily to untrain our brain from “old school” parenting tactics and advice that traumatized the previous generations. I am thankful for my husband who’s patience outshines mine daily. He always knows when it’s time for me to “tap out” and go take a breath. Our children are so lucky to have him as their dada. Our life might be different than society expects but I wouldn’t want it any other way. Though Jackson tests every bit of patience that I DON’T have, he has taught me so much about life. Being his mom has taught me that it’s okay to be loud and get excited over the little things. Being his mom has taught me to speak up when things are not okay. Being his voice has made mine stronger and I will use it if I have to. I will never let anyone dull that kid’s sparkle.